carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
