I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
