found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
