You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
