The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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