dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
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She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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