Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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