i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
