well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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