I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
