I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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