handjob tips. give me some.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
