so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
