I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
