i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
