Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Randomize
