piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
So drunk its hurt
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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