thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
