I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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