Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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