HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
