Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
