Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?

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  (416): i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ? http://tfl.nu/m6rh
  Replies (9) Good night (638) Bad night (2553)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?

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  (330): I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going? http://tfl.nu/4uq9
  Replies (49) Good night (1197) Bad night (20728)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.

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  (302): I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers. http://tfl.nu/ujt7
  Replies (13) Good night (641) Bad night (3318)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.

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  (513): you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that. http://tfl.nu/6e0s
  Replies (11) Good night (710) Bad night (4498)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life

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  (304): you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life http://tfl.nu/wcmr
  Replies (12) Good night (5986) Bad night (791)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.

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  (517): i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall. http://tfl.nu/lpwz
  Replies (14) Good night (4496) Bad night (752)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...

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  (801): If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy... http://tfl.nu/s54g
  Replies (14) Good night (3824) Bad night (791)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed

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  (618): She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed http://tfl.nu/19hm
  Replies (9) Good night (1014) Bad night (1398)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.

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  (905): And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high. http://tfl.nu/wkek
  Replies (6) Good night (1086) Bad night (485)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE

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  (563): Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE http://tfl.nu/qgoo
  Replies (6) Good night (1630) Bad night (517)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.

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  (989): I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed. http://tfl.nu/yar6
  Replies (1) Good night (405) Bad night (364)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager

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  (248): i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager http://tfl.nu/jncg
  Replies (4) Good night (844) Bad night (305)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.

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  (618): There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister. http://tfl.nu/tdo0
  Replies (7) Good night (1431) Bad night (680)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles

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  (303): Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles http://tfl.nu/b1h9
  Replies (0) Good night (645) Bad night (289)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.

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  (435): Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus. http://tfl.nu/v0t7
  Replies (6) Good night (499) Bad night (357)

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