I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
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Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
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I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus