So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard