you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.