Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.

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  (617): M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad. http://tfl.nu/r9d8
  Replies (4) Good night (3012) Bad night (613)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them

  (514): View more from Quebec

  the remaining ten - you weren't in

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  (514): i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them (514): the remaining ten - you weren't in http://tfl.nu/19lj
  Replies (32) Good night (5052) Bad night (687)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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  (757): I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it. http://tfl.nu/uqxt
  Replies (13) Good night (9749) Bad night (1866)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."

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  (202): I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking." http://tfl.nu/oftj
  Replies (17) Good night (7952) Bad night (1186)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited

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  (253): Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack. (1-253): What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited http://tfl.nu/n0ma
  Replies (13) Good night (5489) Bad night (1096)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong

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  (203): i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong http://tfl.nu/c7ef
  Replies (7) Good night (3658) Bad night (866)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move

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  (216): The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move http://tfl.nu/h1eb
  Replies (26) Good night (3062) Bad night (1139)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?

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  (860): Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress? http://tfl.nu/gpyt
  Replies (9) Good night (1712) Bad night (608)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  I'm so proud, I have tears

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  (330): I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out. (1-330): I'm so proud, I have tears http://tfl.nu/7h1f
  Replies (5) Good night (1071) Bad night (348)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense

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  (724): I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense http://tfl.nu/8zya
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (344)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby

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  (989): Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby http://tfl.nu/oj8d
  Replies (6) Good night (629) Bad night (346)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.

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  (612): I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk. http://tfl.nu/mura
  Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (281)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl

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  (317): There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl http://tfl.nu/t02v
  Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (458)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?

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  (479): Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus? http://tfl.nu/0nek
  Replies (4) Good night (611) Bad night (368)
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  (415): View more from California

  I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high

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  (415): I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high http://tfl.nu/20fs
  Replies (1) Good night (725) Bad night (257)

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