So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
