there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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