Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR

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  (412): my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR http://tfl.nu/zpxr
  Replies (4) Good night (952) Bad night (1036)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was

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  (410): Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was http://tfl.nu/b47l
  Replies (14) Good night (779) Bad night (1496)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Did you send adult things?

  (281): View more from Texas

  Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year

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  (281): He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid (918): Did you send adult things? (281): Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year http://tfl.nu/10tv
  Replies (16) Good night (961) Bad night (3691)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.

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  (205): just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed. http://tfl.nu/2764
  Replies (47) Good night (6487) Bad night (2237)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.

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  (864): We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian. http://tfl.nu/x5ta
  Replies (18) Good night (7294) Bad night (2335)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.

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  (254): Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me. http://tfl.nu/nie2
  Replies (9) Good night (3991) Bad night (1070)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.

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  (270): Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail. http://tfl.nu/2ou5
  Replies (7) Good night (2985) Bad night (1022)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?

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  (704): Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night? http://tfl.nu/zhm8
  Replies (6) Good night (938) Bad night (2052)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?

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  (406): Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom? http://tfl.nu/1vyx
  Replies (10) Good night (713) Bad night (2472)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.

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  (509): I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed. http://tfl.nu/6ffn
  Replies (5) Good night (3081) Bad night (720)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Whiskey??

  (706): View more from Georgia

  It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...

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  (574): Whiskey?? (706): It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale... http://tfl.nu/yixa
  Replies (2) Good night (853) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."

  (347): View more from New York

  What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.

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  (718): All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND." (347): What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls. http://tfl.nu/5x5n
  Replies (4) Good night (1065) Bad night (432)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.

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  (313): From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours. http://tfl.nu/36vr
  Replies (4) Good night (1086) Bad night (711)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat

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  (617): I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat http://tfl.nu/ph0q
  Replies (5) Good night (650) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off

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  (610): girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off http://tfl.nu/612p
  Replies (2) Good night (217) Bad night (455)

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