oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
