last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
