"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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