Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
