Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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