Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
