oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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