Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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