..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
