theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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