allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
