just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
