Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
