My balls are so social today.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dicks are not precious.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
