Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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