I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
