I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
