butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She's the barista slut.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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