My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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