I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
