Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
