my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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