i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
