I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
