There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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