Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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