Plan B is the new Plan A
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
