Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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