I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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