Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
