I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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