it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
