Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I want to stick my p in your. b.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
