i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
