yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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