mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
